Responsible Love: The Pathway Towards Peace
Posted: Thursday, September 11, 2008
by Judi Lake
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As I silently commemorate the anniversary of 9-11, my mind
wanders towards peace.
Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965) repeatedly said that as
long as there was a man in the world who was hungry, sick, lonely or living in
fear, he was his responsibility. Schweitzer
affirmed this by living this
belief; a life of the loftiest order elevated with dignity and love.
I believe that we are in tumultuous times. I also believe
that if we are to acquire any form of peace, man’s first responsibility is to
love himself. The Gospel statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,"
suggests that man shall love others to
the extent to which he loves himself. Suffice it to say that only to the depth
and the extent to which one feels responsibility to grow in self-love can he
feel this toward helping others do so.
Because of our interconnection with each other, the man
who comes closer to himself will come closer to others.
Unfortunately, society has not produced many who truly
practice the philosophies and beliefs of Schweitzer. To most, the idea of being
accountable for others seems inconceivable and absurd.
Herbert Otto (1897-1966) once said, “Only in a continuous
relationship is there a possibility for love to become deeper and fuller so
that it envelops all of our life and extends into the community." It is within
a deep relationship that we uncover the depth of our own love while becoming
sensitive to the needs of others.
Interestingly, in dedicating himself to humanity, Schweitzer
found it to be only an extension of the love he felt for humankind. Otto, on
the other hand, felt that one acquires enough strength to assume the
responsibility for the community of man. Regardless of which path is taken, one
finds that love is not selfish and
exclusive but selfless and inclusive. Sadly, society still finds this universal
truth difficult to understand. If one loves himself, he is labeled “a
self-centered egocentric." On the other hand, if he loves himself and family
and is active in his small community, society will praise him “as a good,
respectable human being." However, if one dedicates himself to humanity and
loves all humankind, he is
ridiculed and deemed foolish.
Antoine Saint-Exupery has defined love as “the process of my
leading you back to yourself." Here, he is confirming his faith in man’s
ability to guide another to love. Exupery suggests that a growing in self-love
brings a growing of universal love.
Pure, responsible love abhors the decay of mankind.
Responsible love is accepting, understanding and empathic. I don’t believe empathy implies a total
understanding of others but it does imply hope. We can never fully understand
others but we can be learn and accept each other.
Responsible love has, at its universal core, man’s humanity.
In the deepest sense, we all have a core of humanness. The greatest thing a man
can be is a human being tagged with all its strengths and frailities. The
world’s greatest figures have often been the most “human." On earth, Jesus Christ wept. He also
felt loneliness, despair, pain, and disappointment. By being “human" Jesus
understood what it was to be a man.
Gandhi felt humility, physical deprivation, illness,
exhaustion, frailty, torture and suffered from what he called “the temporal
accident of his own personality."
Buddha knew the most basic human characteristics:
egocentricity, pride, envy, and confusion.
In many ways we have all felt what Jesus, Gandhi and Buddha
had felt and, to that degree, we can have empathy with them and feel connected.
How often do we chant, “I’m only human." Instinctively, we
all know that being “human" shields us from perfection. It is our mutual
humanness that gives each of us the basis to have empathy for each other in
love. The African mother feels the same labor pains as a western woman. The
wealthy shed tears just as the poor.
We all get sick no matter what walk of life we come from. We, as human
beings, are all unconditionally like each other regardless of our diversity.
It is this “empathy" that makes us responsible in love to
all mankind.
Responsible love, however, rises beyond empathy and hope.
Norman Cousins (1915-1990) once said, “Hope is the beginning of plans. It gives
men a destination, a sense of direction for getting there and the energy to get
started. It enlarges sensitivities. It gives proper values to feelings as well
as imagination — about life as man might like it about the full use of his
intelligence to bring sanity and sensitivity to his world and to his art; and
the importance of the individual; about his capacity for creating new
institutions, discovering new approaches, sensing new possibilities."
As Cousins quoted, "hope is only a beginning" whereas responsible love
endures all things. Pure, responsible love is the pathway towards towards true inner peace.
Judi a very mind opening article. While many of us can love others, our families and yes even strangers and actually feel for them in the deepest parts of our being, do we actually love, or allow ourselves to love us? Very thought provoking and deep. Now I find I am not as happy with myself. Is it a lack of love, or my human reasoning? What contributes to that perception? Is it a desire to be the best possible person I can be? Is it my failures, my sins, my disappointments and my hurts? So the very deep question if we really love ourselves is quite complex and how do we recognize that? Now if I examine my good qualities I find gentleness, compassion, empathy, kindness, caring, love, commitment, loyalty, dedication, responsibity and a host of attributes that say to me I am a good, decent soul. Yet I can also look at my many weaknesses. My pride, my assertiveness, my insatiable desire to get the job done right and my persistences as qualities some may find as good yet they may at times and under circumstances produce negatives in my perception of myself? I was too hard, I jumped the gun, I demanded too much, I did not pay attention, I took one for granted yes and that in of itself makes a person who cares percieve a lack of love for themselves. Yes working at loving ourselves is a full time job. Learning we all fail and all fall short is even harder. Yet recognizing that in one's self is in my opinion the beginning to loving one's self. With all the very best on a really great article, Robert. PS Hope all is well?Hi Robert! Actually, I had no business writing this today since I am swamped with work deadlines, but my mind started wandering in relation to 9-11 and, although living in SC, I am a New Yorker who lived through the attack and lost loved ones. The most amazing portion of that experience for me was 4 days after the attack actually walking through Ground 0 and being amidst tons of strangers - people from all walks of life, people of all races, helping each other and praying with each other and not necessarily in the same language nor the same religion. It, to me, was similar to walking on Holy Ground. You make valid points and loving ourselves in a healthy fashion is probably near impossible except with the aid, in my opinion, of the Holy Spirit which is the vehicle for both inner and outer peace. We speak of terrorism today, but I believe we are in spiritual warfare which is threatening us most. Who knows, I may be crazy, but these are my beliefs. Things are well though very hectic - in new area 6 weeks and I'm still not unpacked (!) but happy and glad we moved -- I may want to suggest this area for you instead of TN -- it's really lovely! Thanks and know you remain in my thoughts and prayers, my friend!Judi, I have to leave that to the Lord. We talked about that area. Yet, is only the Lord who makes those decisions and if the door opens I will leave this darkness state ASAP with me and all my loved ones. It is my responsibilty for I brought them to this land and it lays heavy upon my shoulders. I am glad you are getting along and who knows one day I may stop by and say howdie neighbor. Peace and blessings, Robert
Wonderful article, Judi. Makes a person stop and think. My prayers have been with the families of all those lost that horrible day.Best wishes and good Luck.SandraHi Sandra. Lives change within seconds and on that day our entire nation had changed. As a New Yorker, I will never forget but we must support each other in unity and prayer which is what our country is about. Thanks for your comments and I hope you are having a wonderful weekend! All the best to you!
Excellent article Judi! It reminds me of the scripture that tells us, "...without love you have none of these." I know that there are a lot of families and people praying and mourning for those who died on the infamous 9/11.Hugs and blessings,Hi Michelle. I've often thought that once we die, the biggest question we will be asked is "if we loved" - sadly, it shouldn't take a tragedy to unite us; it should come naturally but that's "a God thing." Thanks for commenting and I hope you are enjoying your weekend!
hi judi girl,this was a great article, to the point, concise, and powerful.thanks for sharing your thoughts,my best,sue