“Sleep walking” Will Not Protect Our Kids
Posted: Tuesday, March 11, 2008
by Judi Lake
Judi Lake Advertising
“I’m sorry Mrs. Lake, but your extension for homebound tutoring has been denied. Your child is perfectly alright to attend school and we expect her in her classroom first thing tomorrow morning."
“May I ask who decided this?"
“I did. Your request is denied."
“Why? Do you know my child? Have you met her? Have you checked her patterns of absences? If she is denied homebound tutoring, she will surely fall behind. I take academics seriously and I am not understanding why you are denying her home tutoring."
“She can rest in the nurses office if she feels ill."
“And that’s supposed to be alright?"
“Yes, Ma’am, it is. She needs to be in school."
“This is incorrigible! Who can help me so that my child does not fall behind?"
“Mrs. Lake, I deal with___"
“I understand. Her doctor told me the same thing. You are all dealing with many, many children; I get it. Perhaps this would be something the media will help me with."
“Oh, no, Mrs. Lake, that won’t be necessary."
“It will be if somebody doesn’t help me."
After a slight pause, Mrs. Moss changes her posture and says, “Perhaps I can have a chat with the school’s principal about Lauren tomorrow and see what can be done."
“That would be great, Mrs. Moss…oh, and the child’s name is Laura. Laura Lynn Lake."
I hung up the phone exasperated and disappointed. Anger is something I teach my child to control yet lately I am challenged daily by my own short fuse. My husband and I have watched our little girl’s health deteriate drastically over the past few months yet no one is willing to help us. We have spent thousands of dollars with the medical profession only to be told to “take a pill." We have changed doctors, changed schools and are heartbroken that our normally active little girl has literally become homebound.
“Mommy, I am so tired of feeling sick all of the time."
“I know, baby, I know."
When my husband moved to Tennessee three weeks ago to begin a new career, I opted to stay behind primarily so that my daughter could complete the school year. Although sick more often than not, her grades have remained above average and she’s passed all of the state exams with flying colors. Since homebound tutoring was an option, I decided to “tough it out" apart from my husband and begin our new life together in June.
But now I am being told that as her mother I do not know what is best for my child. Should my child be truant tomorrow, I will be put in jail…. The doctor who had approved the homebound extension has suddenly had a change of heart and informed the school board that my daughter should be in school. I wonder, as I look at my weary little girl, if this is all about “a number’s game" for the school district.
Three years ago, when my daughter was given an assignment to write a fictional essay, I was called to her school for “an emergency meeting" with the school psychologist. Knowing nothing about my child, he suggested that my daughter be put on Ritalin.
“Why would I do that?"
“Well, surely you have to agree that her imagination is a bit advanced for her age."
“And that’s a problem?"
One week later, our child was enrolled in a new school. It wasn’t about my child’s imagination; it was the Ritalin that got to me….
Other parents, however, did not choose that option and Ritalin has become common among youngsters. Many normal children are walking around in a “zombie like state" and parents have chosen to give their parental rights away.
I can’t help but think that much of the teenage violence of today is associated with the drugs we are pounding into our children. Years ago kids fought; today they kill.
I don’t know what will happen tomorrow but I am not sending my child to school. I do not plan to allow her to rest in the nurse’s office. I will have a meeting with the doctor and take it from there. I know my child and I will not have strangers tell me what is best for her. I am a parent who refuses to have my rights taken away from me. We are loosing our rights because we are allowing our rights to be taken.
“Sleepwalking" will not protect our children. We, as our children’s parents, have a responsibility to protect and fight for our children. If not protected, then what will become of our babies?
Judi, Oh my, your daughter is adorable. I am sorry to hear about her health issues. It is unprofessional for any school to recommend the use of a psychotropic medication. They can give parents observable behaviors, but NOT make diagnosis through the suggestion of medication. Making the suggestion of medication based upon the content of a fictional account written by your daughter makes no sense. I would contact the distict's head of support services. Kids who take stimulants for ADD should be properly diagnosed by a qualified psychiatrist. The school is missing the point that your daughter is bright and will learn whether she attends school or not. Keep fighting for your daughter, she's a jewel.Thanks, James. I heard Miss Laura became your fan; she's quite impressed with "Mr. Krehbiel".... I guess you might say that at this point I'm emotionally drained but I can't put on blinders to something that is not right. As I responded to Michael, why on earth does this have to become "a fight"? Thanks for your input as I only have my "gut" feelings yet this is your profession. I always tell my Laura to keep imagining and never stop! Stay well, Mr. James!
hi judi, great article, well written. i, too, would not allow any drugs to be administered to my kids, unless it was to save their lives, and then i would be leary. nothing that i have gone through this past year compares to having a child who is sick, and not getting well, i feel for you both. my partner just got lyme's for the second time. in March in new jersey! best of luck to you as you go through the trials and tribulations you are going through. i am thinking about you, and empathizing. best regards, sueAnd I you, Sue. As strong women, we both know "that this too shall pass" but I have to admit at getting a bit tired as of late. When I lived on Long Island lyme's disease was very common and I feel for your partner as it really takes its toll on the person. My prayers stay strong for you, Miss Sue!
Correction Judi, I meant "fast" paste, not face paste
Hi Judi Bob here. Good article of truth. Yes, school, or what we call school, educators, or what we call educators. Now I have found there are both schools and educators and I have found there is the other side of the coin some professing to be school and some professing to be educators. It is what it is. Well I don't need to tell you how I feel. I am at the point of truly running for office but I would need a few, well let me say Gumba's behind me watching my back. I could write a book about my experiences in "education". My nephew just went through this in a school in NYC. Needed drugs. No way. Took the child to another school and he is doing fine. I tought a class 3 "educators" before me left. They couldn't control the class of 30 plus. These kids were all the ones who supposedly needed, you got it drugs and no one else wanted. In four months a different class, doing better in every way and people amazed. It is all called compassion, understanding, committment and setting responsibility. Now one teacher said to me one day"you're not a teacher" I said you know something I'm not and I never professed to be one, I'm just a person who can get it done so call me what you may. So here is a prayer for you to look up. It is called the Chaplet of Divine Mercy [know about it?] Well if you say this prayer at three O'clock every single day in remembering of Christs cruxifixion He will answer your prayer. It is on the religioous cable channel if you have it in your area [Catholic] each day. Even if it be for a second in remembering of that fateful time. So I stand in agreement with you your prayers will be answered as God deems appropriate. I touch this screen and I send out this prayer of faith to you and I ask any who read this to do the same. With all best wishes Robert.Oh, Robert, thank you for your comments. Coming from NY, I know NY is not better and actually, on Long Island, they "push" the kids through regardless of academics. It is really a shame that today a truly dedicated teacher is few and far between - Personally, I know of only three people today that I truly admire in that field and I believe that the schools want the classroom to be filled with "stepford" kids. As far as the Divine Mercy, of course I am aware of that and actually always remember the prayer at 3 pm which ironically I have been remembering you as well for the past few months. Your e-mail touched me to tears and I wish I could hug you... maybe one day, huh? Thanks!!!
Blimey Judi, this is a terrible dilemma, I really feel for you. This must be a terrible pressure on top of worrying already about your daughters health. She doesn't have ME does she? This causes tiredness and lack of energy etc. Hope you all pull through this one Judi!Hey CB! I don't know what "ME" is -- her energy is fine, in fact the thing about Laura is that no matter how sick she is her energy levels never show it.... she did not come out like me because "nap time" was always my favorite time of day! (smile) I know that everything will work out but this surely has aggravated me and, I guess, brought out the rebel in me... ahum. Thanks for commenting, CB and keep writing!
Hey, Ethel - you know Who's got your back on this one don't you?! Our God is awesome and faithful and far bigger than any school board. And He has his hand on Miss Laura! I am frustrated with you, but God's plan will prevail-keep standing strong - we are all here to lift you up to the Father! Love, L.Hey Lucy! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ETHEL???? smile... In my "head" I know you are right and I also know this will all work out but right now I guess I'm just plain tired... Thank you for your friendship and prayers!
Judy: Until you can win this - or instead of fighting the board of education - you can enroll your child in CALVERT SCHOOL and home school. CALVERT SCHOOL is reasonably priced, they send you ALL materials in the mail, and you mail back specifically requested test or example papers on a monthly or quarterly basis. You do NOT mail in every lesson completed. The best part is that public schools accept this since you have in fact enrolled your child in a private school and YOU are the teacher.Thank you, Carly for your input - I was/am hoping I could keep the same schedule for my daughter since we will be moving in June anyway but it never hurts to check out new avenues. I will check out the Calvert School, thank you!
My favorite thing to tell school folks is, "You may be an expert in children, but I'm an expert in THIS child". Go with your gut and hang in there! Also, just a side note, I have much compassion for today's teacher in the public school system. All the pressure from both ends stops with them. In our area where the public schools are top-notch, we are losing our best teachers at an alarming rate because they are so burned out and there's no relief in sight. The current system is not serving any one well; not the teachers, not the parents, not the children!Oh, Jean, I love that line: "You may be an expert in children, but I'm an expert in THIS child"! and it is true -- I wish I had seen that yesterday! Since Laura is my only child, I am learning as she grows and my heart goes out to the teacher's who are dedicated with a true calling - I agree when you say that the current system is not serving anyone well and our children are our future! Thanks for commenting, Miss Jean!
Judy, I'm horrified that anyone would want to put a child on Ritalin because she has a good imagination. She sounds very bright, and you are doing the right thing to keep her off medication and sort this out another way. I can understand how exhausted you must be, especially being there by yourself at the moment. Things will work out, but each today must be dealt with and can seem insurmountable. But you've already 'managed' yesterday, and you are 'managing' today. Take strength from that. It is strong women, like you, who stand up for your child, who make things better for all children. Don't forget to take care of yourself while you fight this fight.Hannah, your advice comes with wisdom and I appreciate your comments very much. Yes, I am very tired but in the same breath, my child comes first. I realize that I am dealing with egos and bureaucracy and I wish other parents within this school district would stand up for what's right but they seem to show up only when there's something like "breakfast for mom's" or "donuts with dad's" - otherwise, you never see the parents... go figure, huh? Thanks for commenting and hope you are well.
Judi, an expert you are, on Laura and writing. One would be completely insane to think you'd suffer from somnambulism in raising your child or anyone in your care. I pray every child has someone looking after them as you do. I'm very thankful for those who take parenting seriously. An excellent article from an expert!Oh, Avis, you always make me feel so warm and loved. I join you in prayer for all of our children; they are our future and they need us! 'hoping you are well, my friend and please watch the big words with me... i'm so simple (somnambulism - you killed me, Avis... smile... ) waiting for the day I can meet my searchwarp friend in person!
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