And Then God Made… Woman!
Posted: Sunday, July 15, 2007
by Judi Lake
Judi Lake Advertising
Warning To All Men: If you are ‘thin skinned’ then I advise you to ‘pass’ on this article.
If I were a scriptwriter, I would have endless material for a sitcom comedy because, well, living with a man sometimes is just that: a comedy.
I have a theory that if roles were reversed we would never ever have to be concerned about over population. I truly think that after one experience of childbirth man would remember every single labor pain and opt out of having any more children… ever.
Don’t misunderstand me, I really enjoy men and I genuinely love my husband very much. Regarding my ‘hubby’, however, there is a character trait or two that I must have missed while we were dating….
For instance, when he gets sick. I never saw so much drama in my life. It doesn’t matter the degree of the illness because it’s all the same: the groaning, the sighing, the ‘honey please get me this’ or the ‘honey, please get me that.’ The next time my husband gets sick, I am really tempted to take him to the hospital and let the nurses take over so I can have a vacation. It’s exhausting.
Then there’s the traveling thing. God forbid you ask anyone for directions even if you have been driving five hours out of your way. “Trust me, I know where we’re going. The turn is coming up soon, I am sure of it." Oh, yeah? How come we were supposed to reach our destination five hours ago….
Through my brothers I have witnessed firsthand how easily man changes around a beautiful woman. Oftentimes, an ordinarily strong, sensible man literally ‘melts’ around a beautiful woman. Now I may be wrong, but I really believe, that if the roles were reversed with Adam and Eve, Eve would have never taken a bite out of that apple. No way could Adam have convinced her to do it. I suspect that Eve was gorgeous and poor Adam just could not say no.
Ever fall into a toilet bowl? My daughter has on numerous occasions. Men just assume that everyone wants the toilet seat kept up. Do you know how many times I have heard my little girl cry from the bathroom only to find her slumped in the toilet bowl with her legs waving frantically above her? Well, I have to admit it was funny, but… let’s get serious here.
Now if your business is home based, like mine is, life can be a challenge when your husband has a day off. When we were dating, my husband had many hobbies and could occupy himself just fine if I was not with him. Now? Everywhere I go he’s there.
Last week I was working on a very intensive deadline that required my complete concentration and hubby had two consecutive days off. Every half hour, or so it seemed, he’d come in my office ‘to visit’. By the second hour within his first day off, I ‘kindly’ suggested that he might want to make a few phone calls and see if any of his friends wanted to ‘play’.
Usually, men can only do one thing at a time. Women, on the other hand, are true masters of ‘multi-tasking’ and can handle many things at the same time.
A few years ago, I had asked my husband to watch our daughter, Laura, so I could make a few quick errands. Gary, busy in the kitchen preparing one of his yummy dinners, agreed. When I returned two hours later, Laura was nowhere in sight. My husband was so involved in ‘the cooking thing’ that he lost sight of his daughter. ‘Lucky for him’, we found her visiting our next-door neighbor.
Most women are also ‘gifted clairvoyants’. Time after time I share my concerns on matters with my husband simply because ‘I have a feeling’. Time after time my husband responds to me that I am making too much out of things. Time after time I have been right. Women usually do have a ‘sense’ about things and ‘just know’ when something is wrong.
When the time comes for Laura and me to have the ‘mother and daughter talk’, there will be no mention of sex. She will figure that out just fine. There will, however, be an extensive chat about ‘the truth about living with a man’. For that, she will need to be prepared.
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More commentsI don't know whats better the article itself or the comments. Judy, you know that with all this response the majority rules here but I hope you took a picture of your child falling in the toilet bowl, that could make you a fortune! I think Bruce from Farmingdale is onto something though. You should consider and agent and use Wayne and Patricia as your public relations spokepersons. Good laugh, thanks.
Judi, I am a wife of a minister and both my husband an me enjoyed your article very much. It was a light, humorous read without a trace of malice. There is a very big difference when something is written in anger and something is not and what you displayed is just plain good, earthy humor. Keep the faith. I too, think that the Lord smiled upon this.
For clarification, a major contributor to the comments on this article has requested that his account be closed and his comments removed.
I loved the article, Judi. Had me laughing out loud!
Judi, I am sorry for you that you had a really sick person harrassing this page all day. I noticed the comments were getting sicker by the moment and I figured that this article had to be removed from the home page, which it was. Obviously, there was a possible danger stirring. Judi, I just wanted you to know that you handled the pressure just like a lady would when you didn't fight back and remained silent. I was most impressed with your silence which, to me, spoke a thousand words. Today, much more than a writer, I gained a great deal of respect for you as a person and as a true Christian woman. You demonstrated much control and strength and actually lived your own word that you wrote in the Christian in a Modern World article especially Ecclesiastes 3:8. Yes, Judi, the Lord smiled today.God bless you.Doris, yes, I too saw something obsessive forming and asked that the article be taken down. It no longer was amusing but became a target for all the great comments. Thank you for your comments and your kindness as I thank you and everyone who responded on this article.
Judi, this is great!! I laughed too when I read it because not only does it sound just like my husband, but a lot of husbands I know. Please, please, PLEASE keep writing these masterpieces!
Very funny, this was great! Thanks!
Judi, I have passed this on to all of my friends to show their husbands. I think that this article somehow can be the cure. It is so funny but true (lol), Mary
Judi, Being that I am a newbe to this site, I just know had the opportunity to read this article. LOVED IT! Your real world and real life way of expressing the beauty of life and the humor within really was wonderful. Thank you for making me reflect, laugh and ponder. Blessings, Star Lyn
Judi, Being that I am a newbe to this site, I just know had the opportunity to read this article. LOVED IT! Your real world and real life way of expressing the beauty of life and the humor within really was wonderful. Thank you for making me reflect, laugh and ponder. Blessings, Star Lyn
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