Be Careful What You Promise Your Child!
Posted: Friday, July 13, 2007
by Judi Lake
Judi Lake Advertising
The evening of my daughter’s dance recital I had impulsively made a promise that I now regret. Barring my own jitters, I have always believed that a person’s ‘word’ is foremost to one’s character.
As a parent, I know that if I am to teach my child about integrity and character building, I must be willing to ‘lead by example’ but…
What on earth was I thinking of when I made this promise?
Laura was in accord with my request and eagerly looked forward in seeing her friends and learning new dance routines. Then came the dreaded dance recital….
“Mommy, I’m scared."
“You will be just fine, Baby girl, just fine."
“What if I forget my dance steps?"
“Don’t worry about it; just have fun. It’s all about having fun!"
Desperately, Laura cried out, “Mamma, you don’t understand! One million people will be staring at me and I’m scared!"
“Laura, I highly doubt that there will be a million people in the audience but I’ll tell you what I do when I get nervous."
“I’m listening," she meekly replied as her lower lip quivered.
“If you find that you’re getting nervous, close your eyes real tight and picture everyone in the audience sitting on the toilet bowl. That ought to make you laugh!"
“Oh, mommy, that’s gross but it’s really funny!"
“Yeah, it is, isn’t it?"
We both giggled as we tightly hugged each other.
As she walked on stage with her class, I marveled at my little girl’s courage. I knew her previous ‘sicknesses’ was psychosomatic and tonight, unknowingly, my girl was conquering one of her biggest fears. I thought to myself how much she had grown and how beautiful she is. God surely blessed me with my little girl.
By the end of the evening, Laura was ecstatic and proudly held the bouquet of flowers her daddy had given her. Upon leaving, Laura asked for a minute as she ran towards her teacher. As I watched them lovingly hug each other, my eyes met with her teachers’ and we both winked. Tracey knew; we all knew that this evening was all about ‘overcoming fear’. It had nothing to do with dance, nothing at all.
That night, as I tucked my little girl in her bed, I hugged her and told her that I was very proud of her. Just as I walked out of her bedroom, she softly called out to me.
“Mamma?"
“Yes, Laura?"
“Miss Tracey is gonna start adult dance tap dancing classes next year…" She paused and looked at me very seriously as she enthusiastically added, “I have an idea!"
“Oh, gee-ee-eez, I am afraid to ask… ok, what’s your idea?"
“Next year, will you take one tap dancing class so we can be in the recital together!"
“Lau---…"
“Well, figure it this way: you always complain that you have no time to exercise and the classes will make you have time!"
“When did you get so smart?"
“How can I not be when I have you as my mommy! Will you, mamma? Please? It will be so much fun!"
I stared at my daughter for a moment. Her eyes were so innocent and immediately my heart pounded with tremendous love for her. Impulsively, I responded with a quick ‘yes’.
“You promise, Mamma?"
“I promise. Cross my heart, I promise. Now go to bed."
And that is how this whole thing started. I wasn’t thinking and got ‘caught in the moment’.
Well, this is my problem now, not Laura’s. I promised and a promise is a promise no matter what and a promise must be honored with integrity.
… but tap dancing? Me? On stage? Ginger Rogers I am not!
My husband and I have always taught our daughter that "we are our word." When you break your word you don't live in integrity. If we as adults say something, children expect it and are visibly upset if that expectation is not met. Children today need structure and something to count on. Children ‘count on’ the authority figures in their lives and we, as adults, should not to let them down.
As I rethink my dilemma, 1 Corinthians 13:6-7 comes to mind, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (NIV)
A mother, I believe, has the high calling of modeling the faithfulness of the Lord to her children. More than words, children watch actions. Will they find a mother who keeps her promises? If so, it will lead them to a God who keeps His promises, a God they can embrace and a God they can trust.
So… I guess I have to buy some tap shoes and learn the soft shoe… for at least one year!
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Judi, you're absolutely correct. Your Laura is modeling you in every way and you must keep your promise, as you've said you will. The lessons you (and her dad) are teaching her will provide peace of mind to you both years later when she's older. Train her the way she should go now and she won't depart from it. Sometimes there are detours but the path is found again. A sweet, loving and beautiful story, told wonderfully. Thank you. I felt as if I were there. :)Well, yes, Avis, when around 'little people' adults have to pay attention because this is their formative years and 'everything does not go' -- thanks for your kind comments but as I told David below, I really am 'dying' about the promise I have to keep but... maybe this will turn into a memory we will all laugh about years to come... ahum....
Hey Judi, you’re never to old to learn something new, so shake a leg girl and show your daughter how it’s done. Who knows you may be a natural and make it all the way to BroadwayHa! Gee, David thanks for the support... (smile) If I send you some tickets, would you come? You do know that I really DON'T want to do this but I did promise.... Thanks for your fun comment! PS: sent u an email about an article you wanted me to read but you didn't respond - did you get my e-mail?
No I didn't get your email, how did you send it?
Excellent and love your sense of humor! Your child will definately remember this with much love as she grows up. Love your articles!Well, I guess when you are as impulsive as I am, there has to be some humor.... Thanks for your comment and compliment!
Good article. I was a dad always guilty and most likely still that way although somewhat reduced in occurances, until I found out that "maybe" was yes, "I'll think about it was yes", "ask mom" was yes, "we will talk about it later" was yes and a host of other responses which never said NO with a reason. It took me quite abit of money to learn that solution. Best Wishes Bob melaccioI understand, Robert (smile) -- Actually my biggest weakness is when I look into eyes then I melt so from now on, because I'm nearsighted, I will not wear my glasses so that I can say no and not feel bad... ahum... thanks for your comments and hope you had a great Sunday!
hi judi, i guess there wasn't really much you could say in the position you were in, but yes. i think you should tape the recital, and put it on the internet for all of us to see!:) thanks for a heartwarming article. best regards, sue thomNow you've got an idea! putting my the recital tape on the internet! (smile) well, since you and I are the same age, it would probably be great for a 'candid camera' sort of thing... Sue, thanks for your fun comments and hoping your Sunday is very nice!
Judi, this is such a lovely, heartwarming story. Thanks for sharing and keep us posted regarding the video.
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